8 miles down the trail, middle of nowhere, technical
obstacles, sheer drops, beautiful scenery, I hear the howl of the high alpine
wind, and… and… my kids giggling?
I hear people say “We didn’t make it that far, because we
had our kids with us”. While on the surface this seems very logical and
expected, it always seems like a cop out to me. It speaks to the general belief
that we don’t go camping, climbing, or hiking because our kids can’t do it.
Someday later in life we will start being active again, but for now our kids
are too small for us to enjoy the outdoors.
The truth is, you probably won’t make it as far, climb as
hard, or go on that John Muir Trail backpacking trip with a toddler. But if
your enjoyment of the outdoors hinges on you taking epic Snap chat or IG selfies
then you are missing the point. In our self-saturated culture compromising our
wanderlust for our kids seems like an affront to our Americanism. For the sake
of transparency, this is one of my biggest struggles. To take precious time
away from shredding 20 miles of single track to go for a 4 mile put around town
with the kids is hard, but it is central to being a good parent. If you want to
survive hiking with a toddler it is as simple (and complicated) as good
parenting. Start young, don’t be over bearing, don’t be a push over.
Start young
All of our kids have slept in a tent before they were 6
months old. It is best to start early because they don’t know any better. A
toddler has a routine and breaking that routine can have devastating
consequences. Hiking is hard mentally. If a kid grows up hiking it normalizes
the activity making the mental hurdle much smaller. Our middle beacon of joy is
strong willed. She is our hardest and easiest to take hiking. If she likes the
hike she is unstoppable, if she is not in the mood she plants herself like a
great sequoia. If we hadn’t already been hiking with her at a very young age
she would never ever enjoy it now.
Don’t be over bearing
This is the classic dad who makes his kid do what he wants
to do… except it’s not. This is not forcing your kids to play baseball so they
can go to state like you never got to. This is brainwashing your kids into
following you and doing what you want to do. See, that’s so much better! It is
ok to help give your kids identity. Part of who your kids are should be who you
are. They SHOULD like what you like. They don’t have to, but you should aid
them in discovering themselves. Just don’t overdo it. Celebrate the ways your
kids are different than you, because they might just be better, smarter, and
stronger than you will ever be. You don’t need to force them into a mold, but
it’s ok to give them an idea of what forces are shaping them. Especially when
hiking, having your own agenda is very obvious to your kids (and wife). They
will push back and feel like they are not the priority. Don’t be overbearing by
putting the destination first, and not the relationship.
Don’t be a push over
Contrary to the previous point, don’t let them get their
way. When hiking, it will be hard. It will be difficult for all parties
involved. It will push the limits of your patience, it will push your mental
endurance, and it will push your kiddos physical endurance. That is why we do
it. We want to be more patient and we want our kids to be stronger. Don’t let
them turn around at the first sign of pain. That just means you cracked first.
Make a plan, set a goal, and stick to it if at all possible.
PS. If this fails bribe them.
